As a medical doctor who has worked under various levels of pressure (mostly high), I have seen many patients, families and sadly, many missed growth opportunities. I have seen patients and their families walk away from regionally renowned doctors because they considered them rude, and went to less renowned doctors because they felt seen and heard. Intelligence is valuable, but heart matters when meeting people is involved.
Here are 3 conversations that could have been redeemed if more patience, kindness (and manners) were applied.
The Walker

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Patient: “Doctor, you have just done a round on my spouse, but have not told us what is going on. Do you have a diagnosis now”
Doctor: “Oh. He has brain cancer.” *Walks away
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Doctor: “I’m sorry. I should not have done that. We can have this conversation privately right now. Might you have a few moments to speak, please?”
The Know-it-All

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*Patient complains about a symptom repetitively during a ward round. The doctor gets upset.
Doctor: “Who is the doctor here, is it you or me?”
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Doctor: “I can see you are frustrated right now…. Stops the ward round and delegates leadership to the second most senior staff member after them. “What is the matter?” listens intently.
The Runner

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*After the ward round, family members of one of the patients come toward the doctor, seeking an update (the doctor has probably had a busy day)
Doctor: *Hides or passes them without any word, or points to another medical professional behind them
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Doctor: “Hello, how are you?…”We have just done the ward round and have seen ABC, we have made XYZ findings, we are following up on EFG and expect a response by (a specific day, if possible). However, I need to tend to something quite urgent right now, but my colleague (insert colleague's name) will detail everything I have just shared and clarify anything else you may need to know. I come for ward rounds on (mention days), and I am available to update you on the progress at (specific time).”
The negative scenarios above are situations I have witnessed first-hand. I have seen their negative repercussions as well. My point here is that things may not be easy on you as a medical professional, but as much as possible, try your best to be the person you would like to be treated by.
Lead with heart.
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